I’m pretty sure I’ve written about this before more than once. Every once in a while, I get hit with a new wave of the imposter syndrome. You know… the feeling that I’m not quite meeting the expectations and having that lingering fear of being found out as a fraud.
Ever since retiring(?) along with my husband a few years ago, I’ve been busier than ever. No matter where I go or what I do, I end up signing up for things that I initially think will be fun to try but then quickly learn that I might be in over my head. I struggle to keep my disguise of actually knowing what I’m doing and end up somehow pulling through, but one of these days… I might be exposed as inept and inadequate.
The plan was to just play more golf and tennis. But somehow, I find myself being a language teacher, website designer, computer tutor, and tennis group organizer. All of my free time has been swallowed up by those and other requests to which I foolishly say yes. Oy. …Not to mention that I am not an expert in any of the above areas. Being a teacher and a website designer are totally out of my comfort zone. Although it can be fun figuring things out and problem-solving, I can hardly view myself as a professional. Getting paid for those things? OMG, that makes me feel even more like a fake.
I cringe at the thought of someday having to face the stone-throwing victims of my “yes” disease.